the universe.

having listened to 10 astronomy lecture recordings continuously over the past few days, i can't help being amazed by how wonderful the universe is and how small we actually are.

and i am just thankful for being alive and able to appreciate the beauty of nature.

cám ơn cuộc đời mang em đến như một giấc mơ!

one of the original sound tracks from 'cầu vồng tình yêu' in my shuffle playlist was played when i was on the way home from school and it just reminded me so much of the days when i was, hmm, young! (: i miss the excitement from waiting for the show every thursday and friday, or the sleeplessness from wondering when the next youtube video would be uploaded. those were the days...

i wish i were taller!

one of the rare (maybe not) occasions when i can't convince myself that petite girls are cuter or that our height is actually measured from our forehead to the sky and instead wish i were slightly taller is when i go shopping and the shopping bags are so big that i can't straighten my arms when carrying them! ):

reflections.

there are things which we expect others to do but we won't do ourselves. similarly, there are things which we only allow ourselves to do but we won't be happy seeing them done by others. for example, i will be fine having a late dinner/ skipping dinner but i will scold my brother if he does the same thing. having double standards is fine in this case, in my opinion, because it is for a good cause. however, will having double standards still be fine in the case when you impose something on others but break the rules yourself?

miracles! (:

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognise."

i am happy! (:

and that's about all that i want to say haha! :D

heeeee!

good bye to 36-minute train rides and 15-minute bus rides and a lot of waiting time in between! (:

wishing-on-a-wishing-star!

thank you for ALWAYS being there for me, wishing-on-a-wishing-star! (:

fairness?

indeed, nothing is fair in life. 

no matter how hard you try, no one seems to care. no matter how much effort you put in, no one seems to notice. no matter how far beyond your duty you go, no one seems to appreciate. however, when something bad happens, you take all the blame. interesting scenario, isn't it? so how do you explain what's happening here?

well i guess if you are truly a selfless hero/heroine who really sacrifices yourself for others, you wouldn't be having these thoughts. but i am NOT. i am a normal girl, with feelings, just like you, so i don't like it either when i think i'm being treated unfairly. however, i have to tell myself that it is not a big deal. i am a whiner, so i LOVE to complain. however, i keep my emotions to myself instead of showing them to others because i don't want everyone to be affected. i am a calculative person, however, i don't mind being at a disadvantage sometimes because i'd like to keep the harmonious atmosphere.

there have been a lot of occasions when i ask myself why i am doing all the things i've been doing. there have been a lot of occasions when i convince myself that they are not my responsibilities. there have been a lot of occasions when i force myself to stop doing all the things i've been doing. but i just can't!

at times like this, i really wish that i had a lot a lot a lot of money so that i could buy myself a place of my own to hide from all these troubles! ):

meaningful?

(almost) 5 o'clock in the morning...

one life, live it.

at the beginning of this semester, one of my teachers asked in the introductory class what all of us wanted to do with our lives and one of the answers given by the students was to live life to the fullest. i couldnt help but laugh to myself upon hearing that answer, you know, like hello how much more generic can you get? at that time, i so wished that some kind soul could save me from having to waste 2 hours of my life away listening to things which would have made no difference to anyone whether said or unsaid.

today, that highly detestable phrase ('to live life to the fullest') suddenly came back to me, pushing myself into the 'thinking' mode and making me doubt the perceived meanings of the things i have been doing lately. and then all the most negative thoughts which had long been buried in the darkest corner of my mind just became so live and real when i, again, started to question whether i had been living for myself or for other people.

i always say that i am a very independent person but i must admit that being completely independent is an impossible task since everyone of us living in this world relies on others, in one way or another. though seemingly independent, my emotions are easily affected by people around me and that is probably my worst weakness. why do i have to care about others? why can't i live MY life the way i want to? why must some people force their way into MY life and dictate the way MY life should be?

i really wish i would be able to live without a worry one day. i really wish i would be able to live freely one day. i really wish i would be able to live for myself one day.

just one day.

well, i sincerely apologise if i have, by accident, indirectly insulted anyone in this post (you know, you may be an advocate of living life to the fullest or something) but these are just my random thoughts on an emotional night, so please do not take them personally.