life.

its scary how fast time flies.

i still remember when i was still in primary school, which was like 15 years ago, i went back to my grandfather's house after school every single day to have lunch with him. i also still remember when he remarried and moved away to a far far away place, which was like 10 years ago, i cried because i was so worried that i wouldn't get to see him everyday like i had been used to. and of course, i still remember when i was home for lunar new year, which was like just earlier this year, i politely requested him to do this and that for me and he did every single thing i asked for without any complaints.

i'm extremely biased. but i guess it's just natural for us to prefer some people over some others, even though all of them are equally important to us. so yeah, i am a little bit closer to my maternal grandparents, no my grandfather, to be more precise and i still miss my grandmother horribly and want to talk to her in my dreams at times. but the truth is still that i love all my grandparents.

the news just suddenly made me realise that i had been so busy with my own life and worried about insignificant things lately that i didn't have time to be concerned about the people extremely important to me. the thought of not being able to see anyone of them again just scares me, like a lot. i really respect my senior and my friend for being able to go through such a horrible thing and still be strong. rawr i shouldn't be thinking about negative things which shall not happen. i hope all is well!

pea brain!

haiz i am so so so sad that i have a horribly short attention span! ): after half an hour of relatively conducive studying, now i cant absorb anything anymore and end up doing random stuff online again and get a headache from that! >.< rawr i will just blame this on my small pea brain! cant wait for this semester to be over so that i can go bangkok and start my internship. oh no i'm crazy!

on another note, sometimes i just think that i'm really mean and will try to be nicer but just cant help having thoughts/ saying things like "looking at her gives me an eyesore" and "listening to her talking hurts my ears", arggh but seriously some people are just unbearably annoying (and i am not talking about myself)!



meals!

at 10.30 am, this was breakfast/ lunch...

and at 10.30 pm, this was dinner...

hmm they were 12 hours apart! but guess what? life's still great! :D

beezeepea!

so after a month of excessive blogging in march, its been 12 days into april and i still havent had time to post anything here yet! ): every aspect of school has been taking up so much of my time! there were so many moments when i told myself to stop for a while to post something here as some form of reflection for the past weeks, but i just couldn't. okay, i have to admit that i also spent a huge amount of my time doing random stuff online as well, but those moments were very immaterial compared to those spent doing school work/ cca stuff. rawr exams are nearing and i promise i'll start studying soon, but there isn't really a clear definition for 'soon', isn't it? :D but really, now that i've sort of handed over my duties in rms for the next exco and mishy will be away for a long while, i guess there's no excuse for me to not have time to study anymore. 5.0 this semester yo!

i think i'll probably miss these people and the things we've done together quite a fair bit next year! >.< and on another note, ab213 is a horrible thing which makes me so tired and sick of everything that i am spending the whole evening whining my life away!

i'm amazing just the way i am!

having gone through so many communications classes in school to prepare us for internship/job interviews, there's always one thing that all my teachers keep saying, "the most important thing is to be yourself!" seriously, i've never believed their theory, because, think about it objectively, if i behave the way i always do, which interviewer in the right state of mind will want to hire me? sock has her reasons when wishing me good luck for my interview yesterday, ending her wish with "just don't act like yourself and you'll be fine!" as a totally understanding roommate and friend, i don't blame her for being so honest like she always is.

however, it's just hard for me to not be myself. i tried my best to read as much as i could about the company, the industry and current affairs over the last few days but couldn't remember any of the things i had come across during the interview. when asked "tell us what you know about the company, all i could say was "the company deals with stocks, derivatives and, you know, those financial stuff." not knowing my internship would require me to work with financial statements, i stupidly told the interviewers that seeing numbers made me dizzy and i took an unimaginably long time to balance my CCA's balance sheet. so i ended up talking about random stuff for the rest of the remaining one hour.

but guess what? I HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN MY INTERNSHIP APPLICATION TO THE ORGANISATION OF MY CHOICE! (: and i was talking and behaving normally (as in, in a pea-ish manner) the whole time! :D haha maybe laurel was right when saying i had been chosen because my interviewers had bad taste, but whatever, i don't really care anymore! so my teachers weren't lying when they said it'd be best to just be yourself. AND I'M AMAZING JUST THE WAY I AM! :D

hello, i'll be working here this summer! (:

no regret! (:

after meeting 3 of them today, i just suddenly felt really sad on way back to hall. i knew i shouldn't but i just couldn't help it. it was my decision which i believed would be the best in the long run thanks to all the so very convincing reasons that i came up with. however, in the short run (and by "short run", i meant a period of 1-2 hours after the occurrence of an event), i just couldn't seem to run away from this old sickness called withdrawal syndrome.

i have no idea why this must always happen to me and seriously i really hate myself every time it happens! >.< although i keep telling myself to stop attaching too much emotion to the people/things around me, actually doing so doesn't seem to come easily. haha its funny now to think back what happened about a year ago, when i still complained about those people almost everyday right? :D

hmmm maybe its just impossible for me to stop being myself!

one day before funorama xix!

<3 <3 <3

phew.

somehow, i'm just suddenly thankful that i don't have to see her everyday. i know this isn't how things should be, but i guess it's for the best because the thing here is that, i don't really care and am too tired to act nice.

pretty sunset!

small things like this make me happy and suddenly, having to come all the way to can A on a sunday evening to do project doesn't feel as torturous anymore! (:

oh no, this picture alone can't convey the beauty of the scenery at that time! >.< haiz my phone camery is so lousy, now i feel like getting a new phone!

pea-ms!

OMG i hate this feeling!!! what can suck more than a combination of irritation and emoness right? >.< arggggh i just want to scream scream scream, what do i do now?